Only During the Holidays . . .

In 2022, at least thirty-four of the days between October 1 and December 31 include a religious or secular celebration—a holiday. My family and I celebrate Thanksgiving (sans false narratives that whitewash the brutal history of non-indigenous interactions with indigenous peoples), and Christmas (both a religious and a secular holiday for us), and New Year’s Eve (our particular brand of partying involves a viewing of Harvey or The Princess Bride, with popcorn and sparkling cider).

I look forward to this time of year, in part because everything is, or at least feels, different - there are a host of things that happen only during the holidays.

Only during the holidays . . .

 . . . do I abandon all thoughts of eating healthy for myself and the planet, and eat so much rich and marvelous food I sincerely believe I may have done permanent internal damage. (One word: stuffing. It encapsulates not only that which I love above all else in a Thanksgiving dinner, but also the general state of affairs after partaking of said item.)

And then, as I make my way, groaning, to bed, there is a quiver of happy anticipation—tomorrow I shall have pie for breakfast!

Don’t even get me started on Christmas cookies. Mint-swirled fudge and spritz cookies and Christmas Cake (the only rational use for the Grinch-colored Crème de Menthe, in my mind), and “Marty’s chocolate chip snowballs” (a family version of Russian Tea Cakes for my son who is allergic to nuts).

Oh, and of course krumkake, with the obligatory burning of the fingers on the krumkake-maker. (We can all thank my brilliant sister for coming up with the idea of filling the krumkake with chocolate!)

And Chex mix.

And Aunt Jan’s cheesy potatoes.

I do believe, at my age, simply thinking about all these things causes weight gain.

C’est la vie.

Only during the holidays . . .

. . . am I free to devote entire days to joyful silliness.

I look forward to Thanksgiving’s rousing chorus of “You can get anything you want at Alice’s restaurant,” every three hours, on the dot. (Justin’s likely to blast the first round at 6:00 am, apparently of the view that everyone should be awake by that time).

And no Thanksgiving would be complete without a serious discussion of the merits and demerits of mini marshmallows on top of the sweet potato casserole.

List of ticketed audience members

And only on the holidays could we have set aside busyiness and homework for a production of the off-off-off-off-Broadway show, “Bread Gone Bad” (written, produced, and enacted by the Evans children). You won’t see this kind of theater anywhere else in the world, I tell you what.

(2022 postscript: 2021’s production was, alas, the only one, as the kids were lukewarm to the idea this year. As Anson said, “I didn’t agree to be in a play, did I?”)

Only during the holidays . . .

. . . can I shuck off anxiety about getting to the next thing on my To Do list, and simply revel in the glorious multi-hued kaleidoscope of humanity. People-watching at the airport is a pleasure, over the holidays. No judgment, no tsking at others’ fashion sense—or apparent lack thereof, or parenting skills—or apparent lack thereof.

Watching for wild turkeys at Jeff and Margaret’s house, spontaneous music-making at Uncle Si’s house, a never-ending game of tag in the cold dark playground (“You are not It, Aunt Shari, and you are not a zombie!”) are almost de rigueur. As is the year’s inaugural watching of It’s a Wonderful Life, and A Christmas Story, and Elf, and A Muppet Christmas Carol, and Miracle on 34th Street (ONLY the original version with the child Natalie Wood, please).

And this year, Reid and Ellie treated us to a full reading of Edgar Allan Poe’s The Raven. I suspect a new tradition has been launched.

Only during the holidays . . .

. . . will at least one child, and often all children present at any holiday gathering, individually or in tandem, have a meltdown of such magnificent proportions that it will go down in history.

At least until the next year’s holiday gathering.

(Not only during the holidays, but) especially during the holidays . . .

. . . do I look around the table, and hold up in love and light those for whom we no longer set a place.

Five years ago at this time our son-in-law and his sister lost their vibrant, marvelous mother, not long after they’d lost their (similarly fabulous and much-loved) father.

Three years ago at this time my sister and I lost our mom.

Last year at this time we lost my brother-in-law, under circumstances too awful to describe.

A few days later my beloved friend, June, passed away.

And this summer we lost Marty Arrigotti (Sr), my former father-in-law, namesake to my son, and a good man.

I am reminded that each of those who passed on had quirks and flaws, and now I miss those almost as much as I miss their virtues. May I be so lucky, after I pass, that those I leave behind tell stories of my ridiculousness, and laugh, and sing.

May I be so lucky, after I pass, that those I leave behind tell stories of my ridiculousness, and laugh, and sing.

Image of woman in the cosmos by adonesFAO Pixabay

(If by chance you’re reading this after I’m gone, and you see the invitation to sing, and you’re wondering what kind of music I’d like, well, I’ll tell you: pretty much anything - voices lifted in harmony, regardless of talent or type of music, makes my spirit glad. And for a sendoff I am particularly fond of Ruthie Foster’s rollicking version of Travelin’ Shoes, and The SteelDrivers’ Where Rainbows Never Die. Also Sweet Child O’ Mine, Captain Fantastic style - that is, with homemade drums and a bonfire.)

And not only but especially during the holidays is the grief at our losses tempered with new reasons for riotous happiness. This year for the first time our grandson will be part of our “only during the holidays” moments.

First taste of mashed potatoes and gravy, first gift to unwrap, first meetings with extended family, the beginning of new traditions layered over the old, joy multiplied by each new memory made.

From our family to yours, we wish you a host of
“Only during the holidays” moments.

May 2023 bring us all
many more reasons to celebrate.

Postscript: If you’re curious about where I came up with the assertion that 2022 holds at least twenty-four holidays between October 15 and December 31, check out these links: religious holidays, and other holidays.