Brillig

View Original

“Sacrament”

A Short Story in Cape Magazine Volume 5 Issue 2

My short story “Sacrament” is now available in the December 29, 2023 issue of Cape Magazine. You can find all the issues here Cape Magazine, and the 12/29/2023 issue here Volume 5 Issue 2 .

A Cautionary Note: This story is sacrilegious. It is also much more likely to resonate with older women who know whereof I speak. Cape Magazine issues are full of absolutely amazing work, so I heartily recommend the other contributions, even if you decide “Sacrament” is not for you

I am so ready for a new year, a fresh start, a second (or two hundred and second) chance to be the person I wish I was. Wiser heads than mine have analyzed the value—or lack thereof—of making New Year’s resolutions, and hanging one’s definition of success on a particular date or particular achievement.

And then there’s my own flavor of failure, in which I allow myself to continue wallowing in unhealthy habits now because I’ve promised myself that on such-and-such a day I will magically transform into the person I’m told I should be: a vegan who exercises daily, begins every morning with writing and reading and meditation (I’ve never figured out how that’s supposed to work, doing at least three activities “first thing”), who speaks only kindness (and avoids gossiping, griping, or any other verbal vice beginning with the letter g . . . ). A person who gets a solid eight hours’ sleep every single night.

I am not that person, and in spite of years of trying, I am not even close. The idea that on January 1, 2024 I will finally achieve enlightenment is . . .  words fail me. Ludicrous? Risible? (Cue the Monty Python scene). How about just plain silly?

“Sacrament” grew out of these musings, and my feeling that I will never measure up, and maybe, just maybe, that’s okay.

Though the fictional character in “Sacrament” settles into her imperfect self, the real me will continue to try to eat healthier. (I have literally eaten myself sick on Christmas cookies on more than one occasion this year, so even I eschew any kind of strict diet I concede the point of moderation). I will continue to try to create space for writing, reading, meditation, and exercise, while recognizing that at this stage in my life a strict regimen of anything is highly unlikely. And I will continue to attempt to be kind, because kindness is what makes life worth living, along with love, laughter, and good books.

And chocolate. I’m not giving up chocolate.

Happy 2024—may you find moments of peace and happiness (regardless of the calorie and sugar content in the moment) and then: pass it on.

The image on this post is the cover for Volume 5, Issue 2 of Cape Magazine, art by JC Alfier. The theme of the Treacle Hearts issue: Excommunicado. In the words of editor Briony Collins: “ There is a good reason why "excommunicado" resonated with so many people as our theme. I think it is clear in your work though that where there are good people and good art, there are friends and hope! . . . So: happy Cape Day. Stay weird and wonderful!” I am in awe of the work of these editors, and the other contributors!