What Love Can Do

Image by Daria Nepriakhina UA @epicantus

As I’ve said in previous posts, I am nobody.

Most of the time, I’m fine with that. I see the vitriol aimed at “somebodies” – celebrities, politicians, people with lots of (social media) friends.

Close friends and family know we can have a respectful conversation, even if we disagree. Strangers don’t always abide by that common-sense philosophy, and bots and trolls certainly don’t. More to the point, I don’t have any claim to great wisdom or insight, so why would I need to be “somebody”?

But this week I’ve wished I was enough of a Somebody to start a movement.

A movement for reform of our gun laws, definitely, and a movement for better access to mental health care – especially but not only in our schools, yes. A movement that values kids’ lives over gun “rights,” absolutely. And a movement for change, for a new and different approach to preventing gun violence.

Before I explain what I would do (if I were Somebody), I want to pause and join so many others to Say Their Names.

In Buffalo:

• Roberta A. Drury of Buffalo – age 32

• Margus D. Morrison of Buffalo – age 52

• Andre Mackneil of Auburn – age 53

• Aaron Salter of Lockport – age 55

• Geraldine Talley of Buffalo – age 62

• Celestine Chaney of Buffalo – age 65

• Heyward Patterson of Buffalo – age 67

• Katherine Massey of Buffalo – age 72

• Pearl Young of Buffalo – age 77

• Ruth Whitfield of Buffalo – age 86
  
  In Uvalde:

·       Eva Mireles – age 44

·       Irma Garcia

·       Xavier Lopez – age 10

·       Amerie Jo Garza – age 10

·       Annabell Guadalupe Rodriguez – age 10

·       Uziyah Garcia – Age 8

·       Alexandria Aniyah Rubio, 10

·       Alithia Ramirez, 10

·       Eliahana Cruz Torres, 10

·       Eliana “Ellie” Garcia, 9

·       Jackie Cazares, 10

·       Jailah Nicole Silguero, 10

·       Jayce Luevanos, 10

·       Jose Flores, 10

·       Layla Salazar, 10

·       Makenna Lee Elrod, 10

·       Maite Rodriguez

·       Miranda Mathis, 11

·       Nevaeh Bravo

·       Rojelio Torres, 10

·       Tess Marie Mata

My first reaction to seeing this list of names from Buffalo, and then from Uvalde, was a rage so deep it defies words. How are we here again?

But anyone can respond with rage, can meet hate with hate. Hatred for the shooters, hatred for those who whisper that “they” (people who look or love or worship differently) are the problem and that it is right to kill “them,” hatred for those who encouraged the shooters or simply failed to discourage them.

As wiser hearts than mine have pointed out: “Hate can never drive out hate; only love can do that.” Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr.  

Obviously, anger and hate aren’t working. Mass shootings keep occurring (see the data here). Police abuses keep occurring. Racist violence keeps occurring. Domestic violence keeps occurring. Violence against our LGBTQ friends and family keeps occurring.

Rage, while understandable, is impotent to change the world. 

In addition to reforming our gun laws and mental health care systems, I long to see what would happen if we heeded these words: “Let us then try what love can do to mend a broken world.” William Penn

There have been many articles pointing out that extremism doesn’t take place in a vacuum, that “There is a community of like-minded individuals that give these people [who commit mass murder] strength and make them feel like they’re part of a greater cause.” There's No Such Thing As A Lone Wolf The Online Movement That Spawned the Buffalo Shooting, by Vera Bergengruen, TIME (5/16/2022). Another article points to studies that have found that despair and a sense of isolation and exclusion have been behind almost every school shooting in the last few decades (as the article points out, the combination of despair and easy access to guns, especially assault-style weapons, is deadly) . School Shooters: Understanding their path to violence is key to prevention, NPR (5/29/2022).

In other words, many join hate groups to feel part something, to replace exclusion with belonging.

In our modern age, much of the search for belonging starts and ends with social media. And I wonder: What if there was an alternative? What if we flooded social media (even those platforms that currently espouse hate and white supremacy) with messages of community, of redemption: Join us. Be part of the future. Be love. Be loved.

What would happen if we declared with a massive ROAR that We the People stand for love, not hate?

The NPR article goes on to state: “Time and time again, psychologists and educators have found that surrounding a young person with the right kind of support and supervision early on can turn most away from violence.”

I’m no child psychologist, and I’m no longer an educator, but I know that “the right kind of support and supervision” isn’t going to come from social media. Still, I long to see what would come of it if those of us who are active on social media lifted our voices in a powerful and united message of love.  

I want to be very, very clear: I am not suggesting clemency. A person who murders and attempts to murder others must be held accountable under our laws, even more so when the violence is based on the color of the victims’ skin, or any other immutable characteristic (as occurred in Buffalo).

Nor am I talking about forgiveness. I believe forgiveness is ultimately the only response that can bring peace, not only to the forgiven, but to those who forgive. But I am no saint, and I don’t have forgiveness in me right now, especially to an unrepentant killer.

And finally, I don’t believe a social media blast using the word “love” is going to magically prevent mass shootings from happening. But it might help.

We must try something different. Our laws must change to make guns – especially but not only assault weapons designed to kill as many people as possible as quickly as possible – inaccessible, to the fullest extent possible. And we need to improve our health and educational systems to ensure schools provide support to kids in crisis. We need to vote for legislation and legislators who will move these agendas forward.

And we need to overwhelm the online messaging that whispers hate is the answer, violence is the answer, with an astounding, all-encompassing message of love.

That is why today I wish I was Somebody, Somebody who could gather people of good will together, an unstoppable force, to try what love can do.